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How we think about what happens to us after we die matters. Our thoughts about the afterlife often affect how we react to and live in the present.

If we believe that our physical reality and what we see, feel and experience is all that exists, then the thought of its termination and our bodies’ decline may be frightening, if not downright terrifying.

If our faith tells us there is something that continues beyond the known physical realities of the world or takes us to a place of peace and happiness, we may be less inclined to fear our own mortality or that of others.

Both beliefs — that something continues beyond death, or that nothing does — may also help us live more in the moment and appreciate our short, precarious lives. Or these thoughts may create continuing anxiety about how things are or where we would rather be.

But there is no omniscient law of nature, physics or human response that belief in life after death, or solely in the material world, causes only those reactions.

We are far more infinite than the stars in our complicated desire for understanding, comfort and reassurance about the unknown and what happens to us after we die.

When I was a teen, I used to believe strongly in reincarnation. At the time, it made sense. As I grew older, my beliefs shifted from yoga and Eastern traditions to Quaker activism and social responsibility.

Then it changed again and again — from the Catholic Church to Judaism, and from Buddhist belief in transgression and karma to nature’s continual recycling of all forms of matter, including human beings.

Whatever I was practicing or following at the time was my reality. Each exploration into the afterlife or spiritual nature of humanity gave me some answers and experiences I could hold on to, make sense of and say, "This is it! This is the truth! This is what happens!"

In my early work with hospice and later as a chaplain at the hospital, I met a number of people who had been clinically dead and were revived or resuscitated. After hearing their stories and reading research that had been done with thousands of others who had similar experiences, I "knew" that some part of our consciousness or awareness as human beings (at least in the first few minutes) continues.

Most recently, after my acquaintances with a number of people whose cultural background and religious practices include worship and speaking with deceased ancestors, I have begun to send blessings to, and bring into the present, those in my family who have preceded me into death.

Because of my work as a grief counselor, I have been granted the opportunity to explore the question of life after death with many people.

Here are some of the thoughts and beliefs that have been shared:

What do you think happens after we die? What does your family believe? What does your religion teach you?

Is death less frightening because of your beliefs? Do you think anybody really knows before they die what happens after we stop breathing?

How does your belief or thoughts about life after death affect how you live your life now? Does it matter?

Gabriel Constans is a counselor in the Center for Grief and Loss in the Hospice Caring Project of Santa Cruz County, located in Aptos.

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